NVC trainers
As a couple who practise and teach NVC, Mel and Aaron offer a unique perspective on the benefits and challenges of integrating these practices into daily life, and are able to provide insight into some of the common pitfalls.
As residents of Cloughjordan Ecovillage, where decisions are made by consensus of the whole community, they’re also able to share from their lived experience of trying to understand different perspectives and take all needs into account, while managing the inevitable conflicts that arise.
Mel White
Mel first encountered NVC around 20 years ago, when she stumbled upon Marshall Rosenberg's book in a charity shop. Reading it had a huge impact on her, and changed the way she perceived relationships. But it was still a few years before she attended her first workshop, and realised that actually practicing these skills could make a huge difference to her life! In particular she remembers her first experience of being guided through an NVC process, resulting in an inner shift towards a family member. She no longer felt triggered by the things he was saying, and felt much more compassion towards him - just after attending one workshop! This inspired her to begin training in NVC, and she hasn't looked back since.
In recent years she’s also been sharing NVC with others. She says ‘I realised at some point that NVC was what I was drawn to whenever I had a bit of free-time. At first I felt self-conscious about putting myself forward as an NVC trainer, but when I realised that it’s the thing I choose to do, whether or not I’m getting paid, it seemed more like a brave step into authenticity’. She is continually amazed by how much depth there is to NVC, and thinks of it as a lifelong journey towards self-discovery and authentic connection.
Mel is also an award-winning spoken word poet and a visual artist, and a trained facilitator of Restorative Circles. Mel is constantly trying to find a balance between the things that are important to her, including connection and authenticity, autonomy and collaboration, creativity, lifelong learning, and creating a culture that aspires to meet the needs of all within planetary boundaries.
Aaron Bailey
Aaron came across NVC when he was 18 years old and remembers how visceral it was: 'to my younger, and fairly open, mind it felt right, like I had found one of the puzzle pieces to my life - something that would take time to explore and integrate, but something that was making more sense of the other things'. Interested in people-dynamics, system-change, and conflict, he sought out mediation, Restorative Circles, and NVC training in Ireland and abroad. Aaron also practises nonviolence through martial arts, and has been active in the environmental movement in Ireland through peaceful civil disobedience.
For Aaron, NVC helps bring clarity, authenticity, and empathy to this shared human experience. He likes to share these skills with anyone else willing to explore their communication and listening patterns, and inner worlds full of feelings, needs, and desires for more fulfilling lives. With the escalating levels of conflict, violence, polarisation, and disharmony in the world, he feels called to offer these spaces where we can learn to embody compassionate states of consciousness, and practice skills that support us to nurture each other and thrive.